This weekend is WordCamp in Milwaukee. Interesting so far. I’ve arrived with questions about my site. I’m spending the day learning about my blog.

Vocabulary 10-13-2010

A neologism is a newly coined word or phrase that may be in the process of entering common use, but has not yet been accepted into mainstream language. Neologisms are often directly attributable to a specific person, publication, period, or event.

Conflation occurs when the identities of two or more individuals, concepts, or places, sharing some characteristics of one another, become confused until there seems to be only a single identity — the differences appear to become lost.

Immersion is the state of consciousness where an immersant’s awareness of physical self is diminished or lost by being surrounded in an engrossing total environment; often artificial. This mental state is frequently accompanied with spatial excess, intense focus, a distorted sense of time, and effortless action.[

070822 Wednesday

  • I went and stood in the rain… I wanted to feel something different than what I was feeling inside.
  • I’m grieving the loss of a relationship… the loss of my hope for what could have been… the hope for more [sex, contact, friendship]
  • I stood in the rain to feel true aliveness… not the pain.
  • I want to call a [different] guy and ask to come over to sleep with him.
  • I am deciding, for now, to change the sheets…
  • I’m angry that I bought these sheets for the lost relationship dude.
  • I’m really really wanting to go back to the way things were… the just sleeping on the mattress pad. Why bother with the sheets?
  • I’m really really wanting to take extra sleeping pills so I can stop the thoughts in my head… I want to zone out.
  • I want to go running in the rain.
  • I want to go spend the night at the gym and swim all night long until I meet with Kevin at 8:00am for my training appointment [maybe I can set the alarm and go early?]
  • I want to scream.
  • I want to tell the Dude off and say fuck you… how can we be friends? do we have anything to be friends about? what is in common? we just talked to one another. we never did anything together. shoulders to lean on. that’s all. ears. hugs. just sex
    except for women… we get attached… the sex binds us… doesn’t matter that we have nothing in common.
  • I want what I can’t have.
  • I want something that isn’t even what I want… because I’m attached and the sex did that.
  • how to stop wanting
  • how to forget?
  • how to heal?
  • how to refocus?
  • will the refouced activity just become something to be resentful about?
  • I’m not in love with the guy… I’m just connected and attached and can’t stop wanting him
  • I’m in that place… where I don’t know how to let him go; how do I move on?
    oh and I did this to myself with my eyes wide open. what a fucking dork am I?
  • one foot in front of the other… breathe… it’s what Tom Hank’s character said—something like that—to his friend in the movie Cast Away.
  • I can’t cry!!! no. don’t cry. do not start with the tears. crying will just make it more real and will make your body ache and be sore, the eyes to ache, and give you a headache. So stop.
  • go breathe…
  • crank the music.
  • count your blessings
  • say your affirmations
  • and those last too things are not me being possitive… it’s me trying to brainwash myself.
  • wanting to call and leave voice mail for Jon
  • wanting to put on some warmer clothes than what I had and go running/walking in the rain
  • wanting to be struck by lightening.

070818 Saturday

  • can’t get out from under the gloom of “not hearing from chad”… or basically, not having anything exciting to do this weekend.

Two days of dreariness… to be indured until the new work week starts. A work week that doesn’t hold much promise of being emotionally fulfilling.

Modern Philosophies

  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • He who hesitates is probably right.
  • Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  • The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
  • The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  • To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  • Two wrongs are only the beginning.
  • Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!)
  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
  • The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

Credits: unknown.

Morals from a Pile of Shit

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south.

In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard. Almost frozen, a cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and ate him.

Morals to the Story

  1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
  2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
  3. And, if you’re warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!!!

Credits: unknown.

Ineffective Daily Affirmations

  • As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
  • I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
  • I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
  • I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
  • In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
  • Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
  • My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
  • I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
  • Joan of Arc heard voices too.
  • I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
  • I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
  • When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
  • The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
  • As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
  • All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
  • Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
  • I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.
  • Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
  • I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
  • Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
  • False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
  • A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
  • Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
  • Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute… I’ll find someone.
  • Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
  • The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
  • I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
  • Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step — blaming my parents.
  • To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.

Credits: unknown.