Spending the day learning and practicing my drawing skills.
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Vocabulary 10-13-2010
A neologism is a newly coined word or phrase that may be in the process of entering common use, but has not yet been accepted into mainstream language. Neologisms are often directly attributable to a specific person, publication, period, or event.
Conflation occurs when the identities of two or more individuals, concepts, or places, sharing some characteristics of one another, become confused until there seems to be only a single identity — the differences appear to become lost.
Immersion is the state of consciousness where an immersant’s awareness of physical self is diminished or lost by being surrounded in an engrossing total environment; often artificial. This mental state is frequently accompanied with spatial excess, intense focus, a distorted sense of time, and effortless action.[
Posted in vocabulary
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Migration to WordPress
While mentoring someone about HTML and CSS, I was exposed to WordPress for the first time. Since Blogger no longer supports FTP and my ISP uses cPanel, I decided to experiment with a WordPress blog.
Posted in webdev
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Complement
“There’s a lot of things you know, that other people don’t know.”
-Richard C Hamann
Posted in quotes
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070822 Wednesday
- I went and stood in the rain… I wanted to feel something different than what I was feeling inside.
- I’m grieving the loss of a relationship… the loss of my hope for what could have been… the hope for more [sex, contact, friendship]
- I stood in the rain to feel true aliveness… not the pain.
- I want to call a [different] guy and ask to come over to sleep with him.
- I am deciding, for now, to change the sheets…
- I’m angry that I bought these sheets for the lost relationship dude.
- I’m really really wanting to go back to the way things were… the just sleeping on the mattress pad. Why bother with the sheets?
- I’m really really wanting to take extra sleeping pills so I can stop the thoughts in my head… I want to zone out.
- I want to go running in the rain.
- I want to go spend the night at the gym and swim all night long until I meet with Kevin at 8:00am for my training appointment [maybe I can set the alarm and go early?]
- I want to scream.
- I want to tell the Dude off and say fuck you… how can we be friends? do we have anything to be friends about? what is in common? we just talked to one another. we never did anything together. shoulders to lean on. that’s all. ears. hugs. just sex
except for women… we get attached… the sex binds us… doesn’t matter that we have nothing in common. - I want what I can’t have.
- I want something that isn’t even what I want… because I’m attached and the sex did that.
- how to stop wanting
- how to forget?
- how to heal?
- how to refocus?
- will the refouced activity just become something to be resentful about?
- I’m not in love with the guy… I’m just connected and attached and can’t stop wanting him
- I’m in that place… where I don’t know how to let him go; how do I move on?
oh and I did this to myself with my eyes wide open. what a fucking dork am I? - one foot in front of the other… breathe… it’s what Tom Hank’s character said—something like that—to his friend in the movie Cast Away.
- I can’t cry!!! no. don’t cry. do not start with the tears. crying will just make it more real and will make your body ache and be sore, the eyes to ache, and give you a headache. So stop.
- go breathe…
- crank the music.
- count your blessings
- say your affirmations
- and those last too things are not me being possitive… it’s me trying to brainwash myself.
- wanting to call and leave voice mail for Jon
- wanting to put on some warmer clothes than what I had and go running/walking in the rain
- wanting to be struck by lightening.
Posted in depression
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070818 Saturday
- can’t get out from under the gloom of “not hearing from chad”… or basically, not having anything exciting to do this weekend.
Two days of dreariness… to be indured until the new work week starts. A work week that doesn’t hold much promise of being emotionally fulfilling.
Posted in depression
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Spelling Words
succinct
sufficient
prerequisite
simultaneous
constructive criticism
architecture
broccoli & cauliflower
Posted in vocabulary
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Small Trauma at My House Last Night
Trauma = An event or situation that causes great distress and disruption
My landlord authorized the installation of a new dishwasher at my duplex. The appliance company called last week to make arrangements for a time to come to my place. It was set up to happen today, Friday afternoon; I was told that they would call before coming. However, yesterday, when I got to work… I had a message on voice mail from the appliance company calling to confirm the time. When I returned the phone call, I was informed that the technician had just return to the shop and my new dishwasher was already installed.
On one hand I was glad that this project was done. Yet, I was bugged that it happened on a day not planned.
First thing when I arrived home last night… I walked into the kitchen to check out this awesome new unit. Immediately I hear a muffled, sad meowing. I thought that it was crazy to think Philip’s orange cat, Peach, would be inside the new dishwasher. That would be just unthinkable. Right? I opened the door. Empty. Yet the meowing got louder and more desperate. I looked in the cabinets next to the dishwasher. No Peach. I called her.
My heart completely sank when I realized that Peach was trapped underneath the dishwasher. Since I had had a long day… was really tired… I basically freaked out and started screaming. I made Philip investigate if there was some holes from the cabinets while I called the appliance company. No holes in the cabinets and no answer on the phone. So at the dishwasher, I reached down and yanked on the metal plate at the bottom. Philip ran to get a screw driver and proceeded to remove the bottom panel’s screws. Then, with some effort and a very painful pinched hand, I was able to make the panel give enough so that Peach could squeeze out.
The inside of the dishwasher was wet. Therefore, Peach must have been underneath when the technician tested the unit. She was trapped under there all day.
Of course later I found out that there was two more screws that we didn’t see in our panic. So I probably was all freaked out unnecessarily.
Anyway… I took a sick day this morning to recover.
Posted in family
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