The Cross Room

The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. “Lord, I can’t go on,” he said. “I have too heavy a cross to bear.” The Lord replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door, and pick out any cross you wish.”

The man was filled with relief. “Thank you Lord,” he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the room, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. “I’d like that one, Lord,” he whispered. The Lord replied “My son, that is the cross you just brought in.”

Credits: Passed on to me through email correspondence from Andrew Tegenkamp.

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. In God’s great economy, nothing goes to waste.

Credits: Original source unknown.

Advice About Riding a Dead Horse

Dakota Sioux tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in managing any business, people tend to often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

  1.     Buying a stronger whip.
  2.     Changing riders.
  3.     Saying things like “This is the way we always have ridden this horse.”
  4.     Appointing a committee to study the horse.
  5.     Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
  6.     Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
  7.     Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
  8.     Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
  9.     Comparing the state of dead horses in today’s environment.
  10.     Change the requirements declaring that “This horse is not dead.”
  11.     Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
  12.     Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
  13.     Declaring that “No horse is too dead to beat.”
  14.     Providing additional funding to increase the horse’s performance.
  15.     Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
  16.     Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.
  17.     Declare the horse is “better, faster and cheaper” dead.
  18.     Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
  19.     Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
  20.     Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
  21.     Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Credits: unknown.

Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Appearance

‘Tis very certain that each man carries in his eye the exact indication of his rank in the immense scale of men, and we are always learning to read it. A complete man should need no auxiliaries to his personal presence.
Principles

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss. As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
Tomorrow

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ambition

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss. As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
Gain

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Planning

Few people have any next, they live from hand to mouth without a plan, and are always at the end of their line.

Credits: Inspire – The World’s Most Popular Quotations List

A Few of My Favorite Inspire Messages

SUCCESS

Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.

– Unknown
SELF

If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.

– John Atkinson
EXPERIENCE

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher.
It gives you the test first,
and the lesson afterward.

– Anonymous
CHARACTER

Be more concerned with your character
than with your reputation.
Your character is what you really are
while your reputation is merely
what others think you are.

– John Wooden
INNOVATION

The INNOVATION point is the pivotal moment when talented and motivated people seek the opportunity to act on their ideas and dreams.

– W. Arthur Porter
DECISIONS

The refusal to choose is a form of choice; disbelief is a form of belief.

– Frank Barron
REST

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.

– Leonardo Da Vinci
OPPORTUNITY

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

– Winston Churchill
ENCOURAGEMENT

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement — and we will make the goal.

– Jerome P. Fleishman
ENCOURAGEMENT

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may not forget you.

– William Arthur
AFFIRMATION

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.

– Claude M. Bristol
LAUGHTER

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they might of been.

– William Hazlitt
PERSISTENCE

That which you persist in doing becomes easy to do Ñ not that the nature of the thing has changed, but your power and ability to do has increased.

– H. J. Grant
ATTITUDE

Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.

– Irving Berlin
FAMILY

The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.

– Ring Lardner
GROWTH

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. It may mean a giving up of familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in relationships that have lost their meaning. As Dostoevsky put it, “Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most”. The real fear should be of the opposite course.

– Gail Sheehy
INTEGRITY

Basically, the word means wholeness. In mathematics, an integer is a number that isnt divided into fractions. Just so, a man of integrity is not divided against himself. He does not think one thing and say another.

– Robert Bolton
INTEGRITY

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

– William Shakespeare
STARTING

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

– Carl Bard
FUN

If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.

– Kahlil Gibran
LONELINESS

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.

– Wayne Dyer
DECISIONS

The refusal to choose is a form of choice; disbelief is a form of belief.

– Frank Barron
RELATIONSHIPS

It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting.

– Todd Ruthman
YESTERDAY

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

– Will Rogers
MISTAKES

Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement.

– Henry Ford
HOPE

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

– Martin Luther King Jr.
HUMILITY

Many people believe that humility is the opposite of pride, when, in fact, it is a point of equilibrium. The opposite of pride is actually a lack of self esteem. A humble person is totally different from a person who cannot recognize and appreciate himself as part of this worlds marvels.

– Rabino Nilton Bonder
EXPERIENCE

Experience is a dim lamp, which only lights the one who bears it.

– Louis-Ferdinand Celine
GOALS

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don’t know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn’t matter.

– Lewis Carroll
GOALS

Goals are a means to an end, not the ultimate purpose of our lives. They are simply a tool to concentrate our focus and move us in a direction. The only reason we really pursue goals is to cause ourselves to expand and grow. Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy in the long term; it’s who you become, as you overcome the obstacles necessary to achieve your goals, that can give you the deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfillment.

– Tony Robbins
CONSEQUENCES

There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.

– Joseph Addison
ATTITUDE

Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

– Lou Holtz
ACTION

It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

– Al Batt
CONFIDENCE

With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights; without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp.

– Jim Loehr
ACTION

It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.

– Sondra Anice Barnes
ADVICE

Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a different one.

– Ivern Ball
IDEAS

Every revolutionary idea seems to evoke three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the phrases: (1) It’s completely impossible. (2) It’s possible, but it’s not worth doing. (3) I said it was a good idea all along.

– Arthur C. Clarke
ACHIEVEMENT

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.

– Vincent Van Gogh
PRACTICE

There’s nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

– Johann Sebastian Bach
WORTH

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.

– Longfellow
PROBLEMS

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.

– Theodore Rubin
APATHY

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.

– Albert Einstein
INTEGRITY

One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present.

– Stephen R. Covey
HABITS

The more deeply the path is etched, the more it is used, and the more it is used, the more deeply it etched.

– Jo Coudert
POSSIBILITIES

Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.

– Norman Vincent Peale
EXAMPLE

Example is more forcible than precept. People look at my six days in the week to see what I mean on the seventh.

– Robert Cecil
WEALTH

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.

– Henry David Thoreau
UNDERSTANDING

To understand is to perceive patterns.

– Sir Isaiah Berlin
OPPORTUNITY

It’s better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.

– Whitney, Young Jr.
GRIEF

Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.

– Christian Nevell Bovee
SELF-ESTEEM

Study to be what you wish to seem.

– John Bate
DELAY

Delay always breeds danger; and to protract a great design is often to ruin it.

– Miguel De Cervantes
SEEING

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.

– Henri L. Bergson
LEADERSHIP

Leadership is the wise use of power. Power is the capacity to translate intention into reality and sustain it.

– Warren Bennis
ABILITY

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.

– Malcolm S. Forbes
KNOWLEDGE

Knowledge about life is one thing; effective occupation of a place in life, with its dynamic currents passing through your being, is another.

– William James
GOALS

If you have a great ambition, take as big a step as possible in the direction of fulfilling it. The step may only be a tiny one, but trust that it may be the largest one possible for now.

– Mildred Mcafee
PERSERVERANCE

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.

– Henry Ward Beecher
PERCEPTION

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

– Marcus Aurelius
PASSION

Passion doesn’t look beyond the moment of its existence.

– Christian Nevell Bovee
ANALOGY

One good analogy is worth three hours discussion.

– James T. Mccay
RECOGNITION

It is up to us to give ourselves recognition.
If we wait for it to come from others,
we feel resentful when it doesn’t,
and when it does, we may well reject it.

– Bernard Berkowitz
TRY

Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

– Yoda

Credits: Inspire – The World’s Most Popular Quotations List

Small Trauma at My House Last Night

Trauma = An event or situation that causes great distress and disruption

My landlord authorized the installation of a new dishwasher at my duplex. The appliance company called last week to make arrangements for a time to come to my place. It was set up to happen today, Friday afternoon; I was told that they would call before coming. However, yesterday, when I got to work… I had a message on voice mail from the appliance company calling to confirm the time. When I returned the phone call, I was informed that the technician had just return to the shop and my new dishwasher was already installed.

On one hand I was glad that this project was done. Yet, I was bugged that it happened on a day not planned.

First thing when I arrived home last night… I walked into the kitchen to check out this awesome new unit. Immediately I hear a muffled, sad meowing. I thought that it was crazy to think Philip’s orange cat, Peach, would be inside the new dishwasher. That would be just unthinkable. Right? I opened the door. Empty. Yet the meowing got louder and more desperate. I looked in the cabinets next to the dishwasher. No Peach. I called her.

My heart completely sank when I realized that Peach was trapped underneath the dishwasher. Since I had had a long day… was really tired… I basically freaked out and started screaming. I made Philip investigate if there was some holes from the cabinets while I called the appliance company. No holes in the cabinets and no answer on the phone. So at the dishwasher, I reached down and yanked on the metal plate at the bottom. Philip ran to get a screw driver and proceeded to remove the bottom panel’s screws. Then, with some effort and a very painful pinched hand, I was able to make the panel give enough so that Peach could squeeze out.

The inside of the dishwasher was wet. Therefore, Peach must have been underneath when the technician tested the unit. She was trapped under there all day.

Of course later I found out that there was two more screws that we didn’t see in our panic. So I probably was all freaked out unnecessarily.

Anyway… I took a sick day this morning to recover.

One More Thing Before Your Go

Backwords / On Wisconsin Winter 2000: One More Thing Before Your Go…

Trust your gut. It will very rarely steer you wrong.

No matter what you believe today, most of your friends will fall away over time. Those who remain for the long haul are precious.

Honesty is still the best policy, especially if it’s delivered respectfully and gently.

having a few regrets isn’t such a bad thing; they serve as reminders to do things differently next time.

Sleep enough. Then, when you figure out how, tell me.

Apologize. Enough said.

If you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, don’t sweat it. You can decide later and change your mind often after that.

Listen. Listen some more.

There’s just no substitute for taking the high road, having insurance, or speaking kindly.

Live simply. Less truly is more.

Think long and hard before welcoming dogs or small children into your life. Then, if you do, learn good parenting skills and love them wholly and unconditionally.

The Golden Rule is a classic. It has been true across all cultures, through all of time.

Another classic is the one that says, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Duct tape is overrated, but it will hold up a fallen hem.

When the big, bad world gets you down, know that there are many good, decent people out there, too. Life will always be about balance.

I’ve heard this attributed to Prince Charles, but no matter: Never miss an opportunity to sit down or go to the bathroom.

When it’s hard to wake up, recall that it’s proof that you’re alive. Pondering the alternative will open your eyes the rest of the way.

Create bonding rituals with those you love; the strength you gain may be your only sustenance in difficult times.

Visit a cemetery. It’s a powerful reminder of your significance — or lack thereof.

People seldom change. If you can’t accept them as they are, spare yourself an ulcer and move on.

When consoling someone, a simple, genuine “I’m sorry” carries tremendous weight.

Work isn’t everything. Neither is sex or winning. But holding hands comes close.

If you achieve just one major goal each year, you’ll have accomplished a great deal by the end of your life.

Deep down, people just want to feel capable and lovable. If you can make them feel that way, you’ll have them eating out of your hands.

Four words: luggage with huge wheels.

Learn to accept a compliment gracefully. A smile and a simple “thank you” will do.

Some people do act like jerks, but it’s probably healthier for you to feel sorry for them then angry at them.

Go easy on yourself. Some days, you’re the only one who will.

Cook something the first time according to the recipe. After that, wing it.

Respect your elders. They really have “been there, done that,” and they’d be thrilled to tell you about it, if only you’d ask.

Respect cultures, ideologies, and viewpoints that are different from your own. They have a lot to offer.

Nothing replaces good health. Nothing.

Not everyone likes your (or me either), but that’s okay. No one’s opinion of you matters more than your own.

Take care of the earth and those who need your help.

Cultivate an interest in the arts. Their grace endures.

Good cooking, polished manners, passable golf, and excellent typing skills will still get you pretty far.

Be who you are. Who else could you be?

Be present. Be grateful. Be awed.

Thanks for listening.

Credits: Paula Apfelbach. Used with permission from On Wisconsin Magazine, University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Miss the energy and the “highs”

Q: Is it common for individuals treating Bipolar Disorder with prescribed medication to miss the energy and the “highs” from the untreated hypomania or manic times?

A: Yes, occationally the high energy is wonderful in achieving projects in a fraction of the time it normally takes. I miss the old me that seemed to be able to tackle more. I’ve found that people think I am doing very well, dealing with all my circumstances. Yet, those same people don’t see the parts of my life that have gone neglected. I do the chores that demand doing, and I let everything else go. I hope I am right in pursuring my education above all else. I believe that the degree will help me get the job I want, but I’m not totally sure. I’m scared. When I first posted my information in A Better Place to Be, I was functioning at a higher level. Currently, I tend to become overwhemled, when I do find I have the energy, with not really knowing where to start first. I’ve succumbed to a life of giving into spending way too much of everything… money; time avoiding my school homework with computer games; time on videos or movies watched; stops for take out meals. When I reach out for advice, others say to me: “Can you do baby steps? Take one thing at a time, picking the highest priority?” I don’t always correctly figure out what is the highest priority, but I do what I can for the moment, the day.

Anyone Particular

Q: Was there anyone particular you had in mind when you wrote (Tuesday, May 10, 1983), or was it just a general feeling that you had? How did you manage to get through or over it?

A: Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice about how I was able to get through the feelings of loneliness. At the time that I wrote my “May 1983” journal piece, I was nineteen and I was thinking in particular of a friend I knew at college in Oregon. He and I had been on a few group dates together. But suddenly, I found myself wanting the relationship to grow past friends. A lot of the self pressure, I believe, came from the fact that I knew I would be moving to the Midwest at the end of the semester. I simply ignored my hurting and just lived through it somehow.

The loneliness didn’t disappear. Rather, the next opportunity, the following December, that I met someone who liked me as much as I like them… I ended up getting into a relationship that led to getting married.

In hindsight, I am amazed at the powerful impact that my recurring loneliness and isolation feelings have had on my life at several times. Getting involved in a new relationship with someone in a new town, merely put a band aid on the inner pain. I’m twice divorced. I’ve had one significant relationship since my second divorce. Currently, I am right back where I was at nineteen in terms of emotions. It’s curious that you wrote your inquiry at a time when I can identify again with my own journal entry.

Funk

Q: What does the word “funk” mean?

A: The word funk is my way of expressing the weird, droopy feeling I get when I am experiencing mild depression. Typically, I have a hard time focussing on the tasks that are required. Instead, I tend to withdraw and seek diversion activities.